Deciphering Customer Support Responses

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Customer Support (CS) Responses Fall Into 5 Categories


1, Mind Numbing Double Speak (MNDS)
    MNDS is not to be confused with HC although they are closely related.
    MNDS is the type of information that initially shows promise of a solution to the
    asked question or query but soon enters into the realms of contradictory babble.
    EXAMPLE:
    Q, Can i change or remove feedback once it has been left?
    A, NO! (note the emphasis of all caps and an exclamation mark) this answer
    seems to preclude ANY possibility of ANY feedback alteration or removal.
    In point of actual fact there are several circumstance where feedback can
    be removed or altered. Ebay are just messing with your head because they
    are bone idle and can't be bothered.

2, Pathetic Sycophantic Correspondence Spam (PSCS)
    These are the emails you get AFTER you have gotten your response to a question.
    They are pathetic attempts at currying favor.
    Very sad really.

3, Hopelessly Circumlocutory (HC)
    These responses really boggle the mind.
    As you know in most cases follow up questions seeking clarification to previous
    answers to questions are usually answered by a different CS person (i use the
    term loosely as i'm mostly convinced replies are from "bots")
    This results in CS actually responding and corresponding (in the 3rd person) to
    the previous CS response. Keep this up for more than 3 iterations and the
    whole thing turns into HC melt down

4, Nothing To Do With The Question Asked (NTDWTQA)
    Related to HC but CS gets stuck into HC from the getgo.
    Weird, and rather sad.

5, Pre Written Diatribe Waffle (PWDW)
    Ah yes, the pre wrtten responce to an asked question.
    Ebay deny it as a matter of course but after the 2nd or 3rd dealing
    with CS you get this deja vu feeling.
    Again very very sad.

NB: Within the confines of Ebay, Customer Support is an oxymoron.
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