Top 10 Ways to make elevator rides more enjoyable.

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1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "SHUT UP, all of you just SHUT UP!"

2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

3. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Captain.

4. Say "Ding!" at each floor - regardless of whether the elevator stops.

5. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

6. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

7. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

8. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

9. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

10. Stare at another male passenger for a while then say coldly, "You look just like mother"

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