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Baboo Jabberjee, B.A. by F Anstey (Paperback / softback, 2015)

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To the Hon'ble -- Punch. Venerable and Ludicrous Sir.-Permit me most respectfully to bring beneath your tice a proposal which I serenely anticipate will turn up trumps under the fructifying sunshine of your esteemed approbation. Sir, I am an able B.A. of a respectable Indian University, w in this country for purposes of being crammed through Inns of Court and Law Exam., and rendering myself a completely fledged Pleader or Barrister in the Native Bar of the High Court. Since my sojourn here, I have accomplished the laborious perusal of your transcendent and tip-top periodical, and, hoity toity! I am like a duck in thunder with admiring wonderment at the drollishness and jocosity with which your paper is ready to burst in its pictorial department. But, alack! when I turn my critical attention to the literary contents, I am met with a lamentable deficiency and great shakes, for I te there the fly in the ointment and hiatus valde deflendus-to wit the utter absenteeism of a correct and classical style in English composition. To the highly educated native gentleman who searches your printed articles, hoping fondly to find himself in a well of English pure and undefiled, it proves merely to fish in the air. Conceive, Sir, the disgustful result to one saturated to the skin of his teeth in best English masterpieces of immaculate and moderately good prose extracts and dramatic passages, published with tes for the use of the native student, at weltering in a hotchpot and hurley-burley of arbitrarily distorted and very vulgarised cockneydoms and purely London provincialities, which must be of necessity to him as casting pearls before a swine! And I have the hour to inform you of a number of cultivated lively young native B.A.'s, both here and in my country, who are quite capable to appreciate really fine writing and soriferous periods if published in your paper, and which would infallibly result in a feather in your cap and bring increase of grit to the mill. If, Houred Sir, you feel disposed to bolster yourself up with the wet blanket of a n possumus, and reply to me that your existing quill-drivers are too fat-witted and shallow-pated for the production of more pretentiously polished lucubrations-aye, t even if they burn the night-light oil and hear the chimes at midnight! I will t be hoodwinked by the superficiality of your cui bo, and shall make you the answer that I am willing for an exceedingly paltry horarium to rush into the Gordian kt and write you the most superior essays on every conceivable and inconceivable subject under the sun, as per enclosed samples which I forward respectfully for your delightful and golden opinions, guaranteeing faithfully that all of your readers in every hemisphere and postal district will fall in love with such a new departure and fresh tack. The specimens I send are t my best, only very ordinary and humdrum affairs-but ex pede Herculem! Hon'ble Sir, and you will see how transcendentally superior are even such poor effusions compared to the fiddle-faddle and gim-crack style of article with which you are being fobbed off by puzzle-headed and self-opiniated nincompoops. I can also turn out rhymed poetry after models of Poets Tennyson, Cowper, Mrs Hemans, Southey, & Co., done to a tittle, so as t to be detected, even by the cysure, as mere spurious imitation, but in every respect up to the mark and the real Simon Pure. Therefore, Hon'ble Sir, do t hesitate to strike while the iron is incandescent and bleed freely, even if it should be necessary, prior to engaging your humble petitioner's services, to turn out one or more of your present contributioners crop and heels, and lay them on the shelf of their own incompetencies. Remember that the slightest act of volition on your part can exalt my pecuniary status to the skies, as well as confer distinguished and unparagoned enblement upon your cacoethes scribendi.

Product Identifiers

Publisher
Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN-10
1511620277
ISBN-13
9781511620277
eBay Product ID (ePID)
213439961

Product Key Features

Author
F Anstey
Format
Paperback / Softback, Trade Paperback (US) ,Unsewn / Adhesive Bound
Language
English
Topic
Biography: General

Additional Product Features

Content Note
Black & White Illustrations
Date of Publication
07/04/2015
Country of Publication
United States

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Baboo Jabberjee, B.A. by F Anstey (Paperback / softback, 2015)

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Product Identifiers

Product Key Features

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