She had held many dreams concerning what life was supposed to be like in a perfect world-wherein, she would get up early after a night of reading. Her lunch would be packed. Her perfectly hemmed clothes would be laid out for her on the bed. And, she would greet the morning with thankfulness and unbounded energy. Having all her files and papers neat and organized, she would then set off to write and spend the entire day writing. Then she would meet her wildly perfect lover boy at the park for a walk and a make out session. Then, dreamily, she would return home again each night, preparing to do it all over again. As is, the voices are exploding in her head. She is naked and bleeding in places she would never dare show her mother. She is looking into the vast canyon that has become her life; and in this moment, Becky is deciding, much against her will, to simply plunge ahead into darkness. She does t want to end her life; but, she feels w that the choice is longer hers to make.