Life After Russian Roulette is a psychological thriller based on true accounts from my life as an undercover detective in Baltimore during the 1970s. Immersed in a world of drug groups, organized crime, and police corruption, I became addicted to the game as I wrestled mentally with illegal, unethical, and immoral choices as the lines between right and wrong blurred before my eyes to justify the end goal. To catch the worst criminals, we had to become criminals ourselves. This moral downslide leads to depression, suicidal thoughts, and mentally destructive actions as I numbed my feelings with increased addiction to alcohol. After suspension and resignation from the force, the ghosts continued to haunt me. The thought of death became my only escape from the hell I created. Eventually, a near fatal accident almost ended my life. High on morphine in a hospital, I would make a commitment to God for saving my life. I would enter seminary, receive ordination, and enter parish ministry. Still struggling spiritually to find my faith, I would finally find the one blessing I had been searching for all my life-love.