This is the book dads across the world have been waiting for all their lives, whether they're on the verge of parenthood, or already knee-deep in kids. They just didn't kw they were waiting. Letting you in on the inside secrets that the 'real' parenting books don't dare tell you, this book will arm you with all the tips, cheats and excuses you're going to need to seem like a vaguely adequate father. Find out. * If you have chosen the right mother for your children * Simple ways to avoid being assaulted during childbirth * Why babies shouldn't watch Schindler's List * How to change a nappy in 17 easy stages * Coping strategies if your son becomes a nerd * The greatest lies to tell your kids * Whether it's possible to make your child less stupid * Tell-tale signs your teenager has become a terrorist Using a series of scientifically questionable quizzes, flowcharts, checklists and celebrity advice, this award-worthy book will be quite possibly the most important thing you ever read, and will ensure that one ever thinks you're a terrible father again. Except possibly your kids, but they don't count.
Paul Merrill is a father of three boys and has learned the hard way about all the pratfalls and textbook errors that most dads make. To thoroughly research this book, he made most of them himself and is now pitied by everyone who knows him and, more crucially, his children. He has written extensively on fatherhood, and his next book, 1002 Funniest Man Facts is set to become the second most important book on any right-minded father's bedside table.