The author who brought you the spellbinding vel The Celestine Port-o-potty has forged a brilliant tale of mesmerizing magnitude. When actuary Melvin Blum receives a mysterious late-night phone call from the police regarding the bizarre murder of the curator of Washington D.C.'s famed Shmertz Museum of Contemporary American Art, he is thrust into a shadow world of intrigue and deception. Framed for the killing, Blum is forced to flee with the aid of elusive and stunningly pretty FBI agent Persephone Johannsen. Pursued by both the police and a sinister, vegetable-eating, coffee-drinking group kwn as the Legumelatte, they uncover a mysterious and powerful organization called the Sons of Birthright that controls the government and possesses the legendary Seat of Power, the toilet used by Jesus Christ in the days before his death. The secrets they discover will shatter all they kw about the founding of the United States and everything they hold dear. In this exciting sequel to a highly acclaimed but as yet unwritten and unnamed vel, author Apache Haiku provides a tour de force of action and eroticism that jerks the reader around like a naked mime on a tequila drinking binge.
Apache Haiku was raised by coyotes in Wyoming. Shortly after graduating from college with an accounting degree, he was attacked by a giant squid while fly fishing in Montana. The incident spurred him to write his first novel, Attacked by a Giant Squid while Fly Fishing in Montana, which won moderate acclaim, particularly among squid enthusiasts. He then became interested in the lost art of toilet making, which led to the writing of The Da Vinci Commode. He now lives on a small farm in Texas with his wife Betsy, four oxen, a yellow Labrador retriever, a tall rooster, and a spotted hog.