This fictional journal depicts the spiritual transformation of a painter. Rolanda Tribault is the very epitome of the American Dream. Everything she desires is obtainable. Her father, an influential attorney, has protected her from sorrows and vagaries, and she has learned to fill her time with distractions, so even a twitch of dissatisfaction can be igred. She dances on the surface of her nirvana-like life. But she has paid a price. She has lost her artistic vision and compensates by obsessively copying and re-copying the face of God from one of Peter Paul Rubens' paintings. It has been said that we grow into true humanity by suffering. Although Rolanda has blithely denied such a premise, the truth of it catches up with her and her carefully constructed life begins to unravel as she is forced to face deeply buried grief. A transformation begins which extends over a period of nine months, the gestation period of the fetus. In real life it takes, of course, much longer, a lifetime, in fact. What the author wants to show in this narrative is the complex progress of learning to face the truth about oneself and the world and point out the courage it takes to accept all of life's gifts, be they success or failure, laughter or desperation.