Evoking the imagery of Roald Dahl if he were to fight his way out of a blender, Not a Princess and the Cow transgresses beyond the traditional fairy tale, empowering, inspiring, and befuddling young and old alike, though this twisted tale is especially well-suited for preteens and young adults. When a storm follows a young woman to a doomed king's door, the king sees hope for his kingdom for the first time in the form of a wife for his idiot son. The only problem is trying to prove she is a real princess. Invoking ancient wisdom, the king tries the old squirrel in a pile of mattresses trick to show how discomfort betrays a royal blood line. What happens to a goddess, t a princess? After numerous animals and mattresses, the king finds that he could strap this young woman to a cow for all she cares, which he does, only to realize he'd rather follow that cow-bound goddess than leave his kingdom to a clod. But look at her Father, even dry with her clothes hanging limp, like laundry on the line, she is clearly meant to be my queen! She could t have slept well! She could t! She could t! She could t! I assure you I have never had a poor nights' sleep in my life. It isn't true! pleads the Prince. I have never had to count so many as one sheep, neither have I ever awoken before it was time. You do t kw what you are saying! the Prince cries leaping to his feet. If I knew what I was saying, I would never bother to speak. Really it is the mystery that intrigues me. But a queen should t sleep! Clearly it is preferable to sleep like a dream then to toss and turn while a queen. You don't kw what you're saying! She slaps him and he recoils. Sorry, She shrugs, but you were going in reverse. I find that sometimes people need nudges to get going in the right direction again.