Excerpt from Helping Charlie: A Comedy in One Act {As curtain rises the room is in twilight, uccupied, the phograph is playing Tipperary. Enter Phoebe L., with a vase full of flowers in one hand, a photograph - evidently just arrived in the mail, as the wrappings are still hanging from it in the other. Phoebe is rather tall, stout, rather slatternly, good-looking.] Phoebe. (Placing vase on table, turns on lights, holds picture up and addresses it) Well, that sure is a pleasant smile, Jakey, considering I'm givin' the flowers you said you picked in the field so early in the mornin' for me to the missus. But they ain't got smell but green and wet, like all them wild flowers. And anyway she'll appreciate them a lot more'n me - with me its just that you thought eugh to pick em. Mr. might bring her home some w and then but these married men never think! And of course flowers is flowers in March. (Leans photograph against vase, and begins to pick threads, etc., off floor, puts them on table; each time looks at picture and takes fresh start in her talk) But why didn't you bring 'em this mornin', you gilly? Then she could wear em to the reception - she didn't have a flower for her kearsage, poor thing. Oh-h-h-h! (Picks up a spool of thread and follows it around in its meanderings, wrapped around chair legs, etc.) I wish she wouldn't do her writin' and her sewin' here too - how can I keep it decent? Ain't the bedroom or the dinin' room good eugh! (Bumps head as she gets under pia for spool) Confound it! Shut up - shut up - (Runs to phograph) I can't stand Tipperary when I'm mad! About the Publisher Forgotten Books publishes hundreds of thousands of rare and classic books. Find more at www.forgottenbooks.com This book is a reproduction of an important historical work. Forgotten Books uses state-of-the-art techlogy to digitally reconstruct the work, preserving the original format whilst repairing imperfections present in the aged copy. In rare cases, an imperfection in the original, such as a blemish or missing page, may be replicated in our edition. We do, however, repair the vast majority of imperfections successfully; any imperfections that remain are intentionally left to preserve the state of such historical works.