Author Biography
As a small child, Suzanna Hartzell-Baird enjoyed riding her bicycle and spending time with a voluminous doll collection, most of whom were discontent with their sheltered plastic existences. In junior high, she began falsely telling her classmates that her middle name was Louanna, because she incorrectly assumed that people would find rhyming names amusing. Her sense of humor continued to diminish during high school, and it bottomed-out in 2004 when she earned her undergraduate degree in finance and accounting from Indiana University Purdue University at Indianapolis, where she graduated ranked first in her class. Three years later, she earned a law degree at Indiana University - Indianapolis, graduating a distant second in her class. Suzanna feels no bitterness about her second place finish because, in the end, one is the loneliest number. Although law school did little to improve her humor, it did give Suzanna the opportunity to publish her first literary work, a masterpiece entitled, When Sex Doesn't Sell: Mitigating the Damaging Effect of Megan's Law on Property Values. Unfortunately, despite the provocative title, few people outside of the legal profession considered the article a page-turner, and Suzanna was devastated when the Winter 2006 issue of The Real Estate Law Journal failed to appear on Oprah Winfrey's Book of the Month Club recommended reading list. In her spare time, Suzanna practices law in the fifteenth largest state in the nation and spends hours tending to an army of unfriendly cats that were gifted to her by the previous owners of her residence. Although rather unresponsive and seemingly unimpressed by her, Suzanna affectionately named the ringleader of these cats Friendo. Suzanna is also the proud sister to a cat named Buddy, adopted by Suzanna's mother in 2006, and has one inconsequential human brother. Both her mother and inconsequential brother copied her ambition of attending law school, the former doing so preemptively before Suzanna had the opportunity to attend. At the time of publication of this book, Suzanna proudly boasts an excess of forty websites, not originated by herself, touting her various accomplishments and/or character flaws. For more information, type the phrase Suzanna Hartzell-Baird into the Internet search engine of your choice. As for the future, Suzanna aspires to someday have her very own Wikipedia(r) page.
