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03 May 2008
Avoiding a bitter truth...
When this movie first came out, I avoided it like the plague, but not for the reasons most people did. I was not afraid of the "Gay Cowboy Movie" as the ignorant had dubbed it, nor was I afraid of being labeled gay for seeing it. I avoided it because I knew it to be a tragic love story that I had already experienced.
I didn't lose the love of my life, my soulmate, my Imzadi (as it is known in the "Star Trek" universe) to the violent stupidity of the heterosexual part of our society. I lost him through insanity, on his and my part.
Then my brother made me sit down and watch it. I cried for three weeks in secret, keeping it all inside and invisible to others...only letting it out when I was alone.
The movie itself hit home to me, on a personal level, and I decided I wanted to own a copy for myself, so I bought it from a person who obviously didn't appreciate it the way I did, thus rescuing it from being unwanted.
The only thing I wish they could have done with it was make a sequel, before Heath Ledger died, of course, showing how he might have found a way to move on and try to be what he, Ennis Del Mar, was and could be for another man. Maybe give me a few pointers on how to do the same with my life...